9th August – Anger is Natural

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve had something of an epiphany when it comes to work.

One, if the person insulting my work has done something equally wrong in their job, my reaction is anger instead of shame or guilt.

Two.  I have a berserk button.  It hasn’t been pressed, but I have become acutely aware that it’s there (by the by, its calling me lazy in a work related situation).

Since the middle of June, none of the hired help had actually had a paycheck.  In the middle of July it was almost understandable, we were hideously busy and Pauline barely had time to get into the office to do any sort of work.  However, come 8 weeks, my fellow workers Ross and Sandy were more than a little agitated, especially since unlike me, they have bills to pay that come out of their currently non-existent paychecks.

Thankfully, money came in last week for me on the 3rd, but there was a bit of an issue.  When I realised my payslips weren’t coming in on time, I took to recording my own hours just to make sure I had a record.  When I compared what I’d been paid with what Pauline had given me, I noticed she’d messed up the dates and missed a week, and of what she had paid me, she’d lost about 20 hours.  That’s 2 1/2 days of work.

Now I showed her this, and she agreed she’d made a mistake and will fix it (still yet to be done admittedly), but it did make me a little annoyed at her.  I’m pretty sure she underpaid me for my first 2 paychecks as well, but since I started keeping my hours after they arrived, I can’t actually prove it, so I let it go as a lesson to me.  It does however, make me a lot less susceptible to guilt when she snaps at me for not doing something.  Most irritable was just before the Variety Bash – I came into the kitchen and the woman who was cooking (a job I’d started) asked me if that was everything on the Oasis Burger since she thought something was missing.  I stopped and looked over the grill, mentally tallying everything, when Pauline snaps at me for standing still and telling me to get out if I’m not working.

I get that she was stressed, but when even the cook doesn’t come to my aid, I just grit my teeth and leave the kitchen.  The frustrating thing is in order to keep her sniping at me, I have to be constantly moving, even though I often stop, just to reduce the number of things I’m doing in order to remember what I have to do next!  Now, I’m running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to remember any job that hasn’t been done or could be done (ironically, wasting MORE time as I usually end up doing an obvious and easy job like wiping down tables – at a time that it isn’t actually required – rather than a job that genuinely needs doing because I can’t slow down and THINK).  I’m starting to tally them up – this job is good pay (when you get it), but if she doesn’t let up it isn’t going to be worth it much longer.  It was one thing when she was handling all the workload and I was genuinely making mistakes.  Its another thing entirely when she’s snapping at me when I’m NOT and I’m not making a huge fuss of hers.

None of this actually has anything to do with what happened today, but it did sort of set the scene for my anger and frustration of what did, even if it eventually had a happy ending.

Today I was going to be on my own for a few hours in the morning.  Pauline and Karley where going to be with other sister Laurell looking at a cow, but I would be able to call and get them back if it got terribly busy.  As it was, the day went by at a constant pace – busy, but never so bad that I was drowning.  However, at one busy period, I had a caravan on one bowser, and a pickup truck on another.  While I was serving customers however, I saw a man get into the pickup (a man I had served twice, but never for fuel), and drive off, leaving the fuel on the bowser.

I’ve never had a fuel ditch before, and naturally, it would happen when Pauline and Karley are both not here.  All I can do is clear the customers in front of me and write down everything I have on the pickup and man inside it.  I also have to clear the bowser, and accept that the easiest way to make sure people aren’t angry is to pay for the fuel myself.  At the end of the day, I was watching the bowser, I didn’t make the man who came to the till pay as I hadn’t identified people to cars.  My fault.

When the two of them did come back, they went over the video footage, while I got my card and paid off the debt, pretty much pissed off at people and myself.  As it happens though, Karley recognised the person and the truck, called them, and about an hour before I signed off, the pickup truck came back.  Turns out there were two people in said truck, and both thought the other had paid for the fuel.  They paid the cash, I got mine back, and the day ended on a much lighter note and no yelling or dressing down.  That’s a good day.


About Batale

I am an aspiring writer - though since I haven't written anything original in about 2 years, so calling me a writer is like calling a man who makes dinner every night a 5 star chef. I started this blog to force me to write. From the 1st January 2013, I intend to update this blog every day. If nothing interesting happens, I'll write about something that does interest me, whether that is a movie, a book, something I've heard about, or even some of my stories growing up.
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